There was a black family in Scotland years ago. They were Clark family with nine children. They had a dream to go to America. The family worked and saved. They were making plan to travel with their children to America. It had taken several years but finally they had saved enough money. They had gotten passport. They had booked seats for the whole family member in a new liner to America.
The entire family was full of anticipation and excitement with their new life in America. However few days before their departure, the youngest son was bitten by a dog. The doctor sewed up the boy. Because of the possibility of getting rabies, there were being quarantined for long days. They were in quarantine when the departure time came. The family dreams were dashed. They could not make the trip to America as they had planned.
The father was full of disappointed and anger. He stomped the dock to watch the ship leaved without him and his family. He shed tears of disappointment. He cursed both his son and God for the misfortune.
Five days latter, the tragic news spread throughout Scotland. The ship, the mighty Titanic, had shank. It took hundreds of passenger and crew with it. Titanic which had been called the unsinkable ship had sunk. It was unbelievable but it was.
The Clak family should have been on that ship, but because of the bitten son by a dog, they were left behind. When the father heard the news, he hugged the son and thanked him for saving the family. He thanked God for saving their lives. It was a blessing behind a tragedy. (Adapted from Look Ahead 2)
Generic Structure Analysis
Abstract: Everybody has a dream. You have and so do I. When the dream will come true, there is something wrong last minute before it. What will we feel? What will we do?
Orientation: the Clak family lived in Scotland. They had dream to travel to America. They prepared well for their plan
Crisis: few days before they went to America, his youngest son was bitten by a dog. It made they were being quarantined. They had to forget their plan.
Incident: the family was full of disappointment and anger. The father was angry with his son and God. The family failed to travel to America and the father could not accept it.
Coda: the father thank to his son when he hear the ship sank. He thank to God because of saving the family from sinking. He thought leaving behind the ship was not a tragedy but a blessing.
Anecdote Text
Anecdote is a text which retells funny and unusual incidents in fact or imagination. Its purpose is to entertain the readers.
Generic Structure of Anecdote
1. Abstract
2. Orientation
3. Crisis
4. Incident.
Language Feature of Anecdote
1. Using exclamation words; it's awful!, it's wonderful!, etc
2. Using imperative; listen to this
3. Using rhetoric question; do you know what?
4. Using action verb; go, write, etc
5. Using conjunction of time; then, afterward
6. Using simple past tense
Monday, 15 June 2009
Blessing Behind Tragedy
One liners
* The main trouble with mental notes is the ink fades so fast
* Ideas are great provided they don't degenerate into work
* Mrs JimJr lives great on my income; now I need one of my own
* If you're "not yourself today", enjoy it while ya can
* Maybe he/she doesn't "act stupid"; it might be the real thing
* If Clinton's tongue were notarized, I'd still think he's lying
* If life isn't worth living, what else can you do with it ?
* Some people not only have bad luck... they're carriers
* If a man's "Captain of his ship", his wife's likely the Admiral
* Give some women an inch, and they'll rearrange or redecorate it
* There's still "incurable romantics" -- we need better antibiotics
* What this country needs is products that outlast the wrappings
* Opportunity may only knock once, but temptation raps for years
* Ever notice how ignorance picks-up confidence as it goes along
* A billion's the current number of foods made with types of bran
* Teamwork is as easy as freckles getting together to make a tan
* Those who use body language need to improve their vocabularies
* These days, an "underprivileged kid" only has one set of parents
Little Jonny leaves school
A little jonny joke which is really funny, go on visit this site
A young woman, (a new teacher) was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the male students. She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat?"
"Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters."
"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days."
The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks,"What's so funny Billy?"
"Well teacher, I just saw both of your garters."
Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe, "I don't want to see you for three weeks."
Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an all out laugh from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.
"Where do you think you are going?" she asks.
"Well teacher, from what I just saw, my school days are over."
taken from:www.thehumorarchives.com
Some funny observations
If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia,would you get a Phillip's Screwdriver?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
"I am " is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do " is the longest sentence?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
taken from;www.thehumorarchives.com
What NOT to say to the Police
* I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
* Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
* Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?
* Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.
* I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
* I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
* You're not going to check the trunk, are you?
* Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
* Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on COPS?
* Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's night stand.
* Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds.
* I pay your salary.
* So uh, you on the take or what?
* Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.
* Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
* I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me.
* What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.
* Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
* Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
* Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
taken from:www.thehumorarchives.com